Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:icontrembling-knees: More from trembling-knees


Featured in Collections

All The Poets Come To Life by flummo

Literature by JayDanjerCobain


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
August 23, 2013
File Size
465 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
676
Favourites
48 (who?)
Comments
15
×
My sleep is starving.

It is shivering sweat like snow
across my shoulders as I sob scream
after scream against your skin;

"sorry, I'm so sorry,
go back to sleep."


I am sad
and struggling to stay
together but you slump
against my sickness
and hold me
anyway.
:iconglory-be-project:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconilyilaice:
ilyilaice Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014
prettyyyy. i love the alliterative second stanza most.
Reply
:icontrembling-knees:
trembling-knees Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you lovely :heart:
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
</33

I'm speechless-my bad :blush:
Reply
:iconwei-en:
wei-en Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014
Profound and insightful. I particularly like the connection between My sleep is starving and "sorry, I'm so sorry, go back to sleep."

Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I personally don't have anything in particular to say, other than making a few mentions of people who might be able to comment on this poem better:


For me, its something strong, and it really took my breath away.
Reply
:iconashes-mari3:
Ashes-Mari3 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Your writing never disappoints.

You had me at:  "My sleep is starving"

Brilliant~! :rose:

Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2013  Student Writer
Hello! Your piece has been featured in my journal! Be sure to check out and support the other artists featured! Have a great day!
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013  Student Writer
Wow.
Reply
:iconaurora9912:
Aurora9912 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
So good.
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
All those 's' words are just wonderful; great alliteration, especially the line: 'It is shivering sweat like snow'.

:hug: 
Reply
Add a Comment: