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The Pied Piper of Zolpidem.I've got a hole in my
middle where I've torn at my own
insecurities, looking
for a way out of this skin.

I feel like I'm splitting
down the middle and tearing at
the seams, like I'm too small
to keep the nightmares
at bay (away, away).

And my blood's whistling
a tune I've heard too many times
before, the pied piper
of zolpidem twisting through
my veins.

Headlights on the hillside,
don't leave me this way.

A letter I'll never send.The letter I keep writing
to my children.

'My darlings,

I have never told you
that I once lost you to my
own sadness,

that your tiny flailing
fists once made me feel as if
the world was striking out
at me through you.

I used to feed you in
the bath tub, wondering if
perhaps I could let your
weight drag us under.

I still believe that it was
you who kept me afloat.

I keep writing this letter
to keep me calm, to keep me from
hating myself for ever thinking
of you as burdens.

And someday I want to tell you
that I once lost myself to
my own sadness, and that
it was you that kept
me here.'

Depression.To be depressed is
to carry every unwashed thing
in your life in your
arms.

The dishes you
couldn't clean pile
up with your innards,
jostling for space
amongst the lungs you've
smoked black and the
heart you've loved
thin.

Your unwashed sheets
hang around your shoulders,
gathering dead skin cells and
catching hair you habitually
tear from your skull, a
nervous twitch you never
quite shook.

You wake up one morning
and find that your hands are
still stained with dirt
from that time you buried
your lover in the backyard,

wanting to let go
but discovering that letting
go feels a lot like
giving up and
you're not rea

It wasn't a mistake.I've dragged my lungs
through packet after packet of cigarettes,
so it's no wonder to learn that all
I've got left is ash-grey and
tar-black and useless.

Garotted.I grew up with
rosary beads around my throat,
garotted by both my mother's
Faith and His word.

She would say,
'He can save you,
you have only to pray to His
Greatness.'

So I would clasp my
baby-girl fingers and
pray, pray, pray
that the hands under
my bed would leave me
alone when the lights
went out.

They never did,
and I grew out of
hoping.

You spoke synonyms to me."I want to live inside your chest,"
you said, "I want to burn between your legs."

Honestly dishonest.I'd kissed you seventeen times before they tore me
away from the coffin.

This could be tragically romantic but I'm lying;
I wasn't allowed through the chapel doors.

The deforestation of a wild thing.You tear the curtains down
and find that I am a funeral pyre in
full swing.

You learn that loneliness is nothing like
emptiness, but a burning forest.

Brightburnflames licking up my thighs and
taking with them the kisses you lay there,
and there and there.

Will my deforestation strip my skin back to
the taste of lovers old, their touches turned Midas-gold
along the expanse of new pink skin?

The curtains haven't burnt so you pin
them back up on my collarbone wings and slide
them closed to hide the damage.

I burn the way unwanted things burn (green wood damp bark),
I don't want to go but you've shut the fire in and my skin

Things I'll tell you when you're older (4).There is never a wrong
time to love someone,

but sometimes there will be
the wrong someone who
will love you the
wrong way.

Birthday celebrations.Twenty-three cigarettes
at midnight in honour of
the years you might have
lived,

but chose not to.

Untitled.I'd chase winter
around the globe if I could
afford it.

A(nother) letter to myself.You have grown.

You are not ten years
old and silent.

You've found the words
and you have made them
your sword and your shield,

your battering ram against
the walls you built when you
were too afraid to live.

And I know that some days
you feel like letting go,
like falling.

That you wonder if it might
feel like flying if you spread your arms
and close your eyes and pretend you
aren't doing this to die.

You have stood on the edges
of rooftops and bridges
(To follow her, I know,
but you were not born to go this way.)
and you have climbed back down.

You will make it, my girl,
by the skin of your teet

Redthis is the way we are set loose:
like bulls released from their pens -
all anger and bucking fear,
unaware that we have thrown away
the most harmless annoyance

& quivering, we await
the wrath of realized
mistakes - the end
of the fray.

I left my trust in the desert.I still think
you'll leave me
someday.

4."Babygirl,
ain't anyone can save you."

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The tide.My sadness never left.
A constant sway of emotion,
it collects somewhere near my toes
before rising up like the tide.

It changes, but never leaves me.

A strong chill, the moon
in me shifts and the sadness in me
comes back for more.

Cigarette burnsI sit up at night and think of you,
nicotine clouds.

My own words leave me aching,
and I press the cigarette into my skin
without flinching.

A birthday gone.I am twenty-one candles on the
birthday cake. She'd be twenty-two
were she not perpetually stuck at fifteen
years seven months and two days.

My fingers trace her memory and I realise
that I'm starting to forget which way her
eyelashes curved, how she looked when I'd
say 'I love you', how she looked when she
said it back.

Twenty-one and I'm clutching at invisible threads,
I'm not ready to forget just yet.

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You lo(i)ved inside my chest.

by ~trembling-knees, Jan 3, 2013, 12:38:39 AM
Literature / Poetry / Romantic / Post-Teen (Mature) / Free Verse

_{We made love

(once, twice, and
I stopped counting the
bruises)

in the middle of winter
and pretended neither of us were
casualties when we collided,
a heart-on collision,
(precision incision).

I keep the room you rented
from me empty,

I don't think about you anymore,
but I don't think about you
anyless.}

171

18 9 1

You lo(i)ved inside my chest.by ~trembling-knees

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Written for

' writing prompt game thingy.

The song in question: [link]

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Submitted on: January 3
File Size: 555 bytes

Views: 171
Favourites: 18 (who?)
Comments: 9
Downloads: 1

`LiliWrites Feb 10, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

love it!

Well done.

Reply

~trembling-knees Feb 19, 2013 General Artist

Thank you!

Reply

*1nkl1ng Jan 28, 2013

I love the last verse.

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~trembling-knees Feb 19, 2013 General Artist

Thank you :hear:

Reply

*1nkl1ng Feb 19, 2013

No problem!

Reply

~ChocoCoatedLemons Jan 3, 2013

Wow! I really got caught unawares by the use of anymore and anyless - that was a great little spin on the words!

Reply

~trembling-knees Jan 3, 2013 General Artist

Thank you! That's actually the title of the song

gave me to write for, it's quite beautiful :3

Reply

*glossolalias Jan 3, 2013

OH MY GOD THAT WAS FAST

also this is really good.

Reply

~trembling-knees Jan 3, 2013 General Artist

SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T HELP IT it's a blessing and a curse

and thank you!

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