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the steady drip drip of it in the kitchen
sink has me grinding my teeth

what a waste you said, and in vain
tried to tighten the taps as I laughed—
a waste!—indeed I am.

you told me, pride is a virtue you seem to be lacking
and I said pride leaves the blinds open and you laughed
and left the the blinds open.

Shiny black patent shoes, I watched as you were
lowered into the ground and wondered if that's where life got you,
if that's where life always got you,

then,
what good is pride anyway?
words and stuff
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-04-04
The subtlety in my soul is leaking by ~trembling-knees could be extensively studied, as could the blunt, abrupt message. ( Featured by Nichrysalis )
:icon7markus7:
7markus7 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013
so much is said in a few lines - and the title is just wondrous - my soul is leaking too !
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
Many many congrats on the DD, my lovely. :heart:
Reply
:iconryanisnasty:
ryanisnasty Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
Congratulations on the well deserved DD! :heart:
:huggle:
Reply
:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013   Writer
congratulations!
Reply
:icontobbii-desu:
Tobbii-Desu Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Short and beautiful.
Reply
:iconodyssordain:
odyssordain Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
simply beautiful
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: congrats on being showcased, dear!
Reply
:iconphantomraven:
PhantomRaven Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow....impressive! A well deserved DD indeed! :iconclapplz:

-Le Phantom :mangapunksai:
Reply
:iconvampirehugger:
Vampirehugger Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
The words in this poem are so visual. It's almost as though the emotion itself is something that I could reach out and touch, if that makes any sense. Great use of word choice in this poem! :aww:
Reply
:iconbeautifulrosepeddle:
Beautifulrosepeddle Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
well worded, it sounds kind of like me.... o_0
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013   General Artist
Congratulations on both the DLD and DD, love! :tighthug: So happy for you! :love:
Reply
:iconcandyexorcist:
candyexorcist Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Student General Artist
My favorite here is the third stanza. I could quote it forever.
Reply
:iconsplongshanks:
SPLongshanks Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
whoa dang. consider me impressed.
Reply
:iconvindiico:
vindiico Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013   General Artist
Sometimes, I read a poem I enjoy, read it again, and perhaps read it once more by the week's end. I enjoy, savor it, and then let it go with a slim chance of coming back to it.

Poems, to me, are often like desert. They're a source of (sublime) pleasure, but they become progressively fleeting the more and more you ingest them.

This poem, however, cannot be simply read and then forgotten. The emotion inside of it is beautiful and yet its meaning is hidden though not to deeply. It forced me to sit down and analyze it, analyze it in such a manner that I haven't done since a college course in literature, but I could easily find meaning in each word which allowed this poem to move from enjoyable to consuming---such that all grands poem should do.

And, I wish to say that this is one of the more impressive poems I have read for a while. The rhythm in the first was little off, causing me to raise an eyebrow at first, but you quickly made up for that and sped off running.

(;
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:iconismarus:
Ismarus Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Amazing! Great job and congratulations!
Reply
:iconelecxra:
elecxra Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Congratulations on the DD! You deserved it! ♥
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz: :iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
Reply
:iconlostgryphin:
LostGryphin Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Amazing. Congrats on the DD
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow! :) I have to keep reading this over and over. Love it!

I especially love the first two lines.
Reply
:iconred-london:
Red-London Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
Interpretation anyone?
Reply
:iconred-london:
Red-London Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
What does "leaving the blinds open" mean?
Reply
:icongdeyke:
GDeyke Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013   Writer
I love the second verse, especially.
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    Congrats on the well deserved DD! :dalove:
    Have a nice day! :heart:
Reply
:iconvanmall:
vanmall Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congrats on the Daily Deviation! :happybounce:
Reply
:iconchococoatedlemons:
ChocoCoatedLemons Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
I love this change at the end, suddenly introducing her funeral shoes.
Reply
:icontrembling-knees:
trembling-knees Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ahhhh thank you, this is one of my personal favourites :heart:
Reply
:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Packed a ton of emotional impact in here. Well done. :sun:
Reply
:icontrembling-knees:
trembling-knees Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!

:heart:
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:iconadagiobunny:
Adagiobunny Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2012  Student Writer
What a powerful piece. The speaker's voice shines through bitterly, and I love the ominous tones of the last question. Beautiful work!
Reply
:icontrembling-knees:
trembling-knees Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!

:heart:
Reply
:iconadagiobunny:
Adagiobunny Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2012
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by =DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: [link]

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.
Reply
:icontrembling-knees:
trembling-knees Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ahhh thank you so much! Sorry this is so late, I've been without internet for a while.

Thank you very much for the feature :3 :heart:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2012
Oh wow, this is gorgeous. It's so crisp and clear and tense... I love the narrator's voice--sort of resigned, maybe?

I'm flailing for constructive criticism but I just love this whole thing. :)
Reply
:icontrembling-knees:
trembling-knees Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! I really appreciate your thoughts, and this is one of my personal favouites :3
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2012
:huggle:
Reply
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